I’m not quite sure that I “get” the whole Anti-Panti Disposable Underwear thing, but I’m sure someone out there is buying them. If someone handed me one, I’d be more likely to write my name on it and stick on my shirt than use it as underwear. The site says that it’s intended for clothing like low-rise pants, but I’m really having a hard time imagining pants so low that you need to resort to an underwear dot.

Maybe I’m prematurely old, but I could have sworn that disposable panty dots were listed among the signs of the apocalypse. Tell me, is anyone out there actually wearing these?

For those of you who are curious, they have a set of instructions for use that’s going to have me spontaneously giggling all day:

1. Spy your favorite low slung pants hanging in your closet
2. Put them half-on sans underwear of course (no thong, no hipster, no bikini, no nothing)
3. Grab one and peel off the backside
4. Artfully stick it inside your pants (find the perfect spot)
5. Gleefully zip or button up and have an anti-panti day.

Oh, to be the copywriter on this job. Artfully stick it in your pants? Gleefully zip up? No offense to the Anti-Panti folks, but I’m going to “artfully” slip into my normal Victoria’s Secret underpants and “gleefully” zip up for a moderate coverage kind of day.